thanks for your great reply. you're right about everything - I do have to think about myself, and that is why I'm planning to do this paralegal thing and at least protect my financial future. and what you said about just getting pregnant, believe me I've thought about it many times. but unfortunately it's not that easy. he really safeguards against my getting pregnant and sadly we don't have a hot sex life like we did when we first got married. I think if it's meant to happen, it will. and if I can't stand it not having a baby, then I will find a way to have one. even if I have to adopt one:)

thanks for being a great friend and always listening:)

*big hugs* back!