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laurainlimbo at 09:50am on 05/11/2005
laurainlimbo at 09:50am on 05/11/2005thought I'd write something on here, even if its another complaint. That means that I have to back up to my worst day this week - Wednesday. First of all, I started out that day in a generally bad mood - not sure why, but it was the kind of mood in which everything is annoying. On the train, this annoyance was especially noticeable: People were crowding me, kids were too noisy, and I just wanted to fade into thin air and disappear. Sometimes I'm content to bury my head in my book and ignore people, but for some reason, I just hated everyone.
But of course I knew I had to teach, and I was prepared to set aside my bad mood and just do my job. Though, as I usually do on Wednesdays, I went there with a bit of anxiety because of that little girl who has caused me so much trouble in the past. And because she had been so sweet and good last week, I wasn't nearly as worried as I should have been. I mean I let my guard down this week, expecting that she had "reformed" and that I would have another good class, but I was wrong. She came in late to class again, the second time in the last month (and just ask anyone I've taught in the last six years how I feel about tardiness), ignored me when I tried asking her a question and continued to ignore me as I asked the same question, or a variation of it, several more times. Then when I had explained an activity to her and the other student (a very sweet boy who always tries very hard in class) and showed them very clearly what to do, she looked at me with a very sarcastic expression and said, in Japanese, "Watashi wa America-jin jyanai - wakarimasen" (which means, I'm not American, so I don't understand). Well, I tried to explain again, patiently of course, and she proceeded to tell me, again in Japanese: "Watashi wa Nihon-jin desu. wakarimasen" (I'm Japanese, I don't understand). And this came after she had already told me (or maybe she was telling the boy) that what we were doing was boring (and she said that in Japanese too). And finally, at the end of the lesson, when I thought I couldn't take any more disrespect from her, she blatantly told me that I was wrong about something (Hmmm - and who do you think is the one more knowledgeable about English?). they were doing a writing activity in their books, and when I pointed out to her that one of her answers was wrong, she disagreed with me, and in the end just shrugged and said she would keep the answer wrong. And to top it off, the little boy in the class, who was trying very hard to follow the lesson and who always has a great attitude, started crying suddenly, for no apparent reason. My guess is that he was just feeling frustrated that he couldn't do the activity as well as the girl, and maybe he was also upset about her attitude. I'm not sure. But the upshot of all of this is that I have decided I won't teach this girl anymore - I don't really care if it means I have to quit the school, but I am too old, too educated and too stressed to take her shit and her attitude anymore.
After I had dealt with the devil-child for 40 minutes, then I taught one more class and spent an hour trying to come up with lesson plan ideas for the adult classes. I've been doing lesson plans for a couple months now, but just recently, Naoko (the owner of the school) has been more particular about lesson ideas, and shoots down pretty much every one that I suggest. Plus, she and Ailsa have been telling me that, though my lessons are very good, they are too long and too difficult, so nothing I am doing is right, apparently.
By the time I got home on Wednesday night, I was so stressed out that I couldn't sleep, and I was honestly pretty close to having a panic attack. I felt I couldn't breathe, I was angry, and worried about everything. I can't blame all of this anxiety on that little girl, but she is a big cause of it - I've honestly never had to deal with a situation like this, or with a child who has such disrespect for teachers, or even for other kids. So after two days of brooding over it, I sat down last night and wrote a long message to Naoko, telling her that I've had enough, its not working, and that girl will have to work with another teacher from now on. I also told her straight that the girl needs to be disciplined and her parents need to be told how rude she has been to me and to other students. She needs to know that what she is doing is wrong, and not acceptable. But here, and I told Naoko this, I am dealing with uncomfortable territory because this is Japan, not America. I am immersed in a totally different culture. In America, we are very straightforward about problems, and we get to the root of them. Here in Japan you have to be much more delicate when complaining about something, and often people avoid problems rather than facing them (which could explain why Japan has one of the biggest suicide rates in the world). That explains why even though I complained about this girl three weeks ago, Naoko didn't do anything about it. She wanted to wait and see if the girl would get better - she passed it off as just that the girl is "moody." Moody, my ass - this girl is Damien's little sister! and after she received my message last night, she had the nerve to ask me if she could ask Ailsa for advice. Ailsa is the other teacher at the school, and she has never taught this little girl. She can no more offer advice than an outsider could - and Naoko is again just trying to avoid dealing with the situation herself. Sometimes I don't understand this country at all!
Anyway, I will be going to work later today and concluding this problem - she will have to find another teacher for that class, or transfer the girl to another class and let another teacher deal with her. I don't have the training for this, and I'm not paid enough.
Every cloud has a silver lining though - Thursday was better - I had a new student at home (I'll write more about her later) and Friday was great - Masahiko and I went for a drive into the countryside (towards Mt. Fuji and the lakes) and relaxed by looking at the gorgeous autumn leaves. I'll write more about that next time . . .
But of course I knew I had to teach, and I was prepared to set aside my bad mood and just do my job. Though, as I usually do on Wednesdays, I went there with a bit of anxiety because of that little girl who has caused me so much trouble in the past. And because she had been so sweet and good last week, I wasn't nearly as worried as I should have been. I mean I let my guard down this week, expecting that she had "reformed" and that I would have another good class, but I was wrong. She came in late to class again, the second time in the last month (and just ask anyone I've taught in the last six years how I feel about tardiness), ignored me when I tried asking her a question and continued to ignore me as I asked the same question, or a variation of it, several more times. Then when I had explained an activity to her and the other student (a very sweet boy who always tries very hard in class) and showed them very clearly what to do, she looked at me with a very sarcastic expression and said, in Japanese, "Watashi wa America-jin jyanai - wakarimasen" (which means, I'm not American, so I don't understand). Well, I tried to explain again, patiently of course, and she proceeded to tell me, again in Japanese: "Watashi wa Nihon-jin desu. wakarimasen" (I'm Japanese, I don't understand). And this came after she had already told me (or maybe she was telling the boy) that what we were doing was boring (and she said that in Japanese too). And finally, at the end of the lesson, when I thought I couldn't take any more disrespect from her, she blatantly told me that I was wrong about something (Hmmm - and who do you think is the one more knowledgeable about English?). they were doing a writing activity in their books, and when I pointed out to her that one of her answers was wrong, she disagreed with me, and in the end just shrugged and said she would keep the answer wrong. And to top it off, the little boy in the class, who was trying very hard to follow the lesson and who always has a great attitude, started crying suddenly, for no apparent reason. My guess is that he was just feeling frustrated that he couldn't do the activity as well as the girl, and maybe he was also upset about her attitude. I'm not sure. But the upshot of all of this is that I have decided I won't teach this girl anymore - I don't really care if it means I have to quit the school, but I am too old, too educated and too stressed to take her shit and her attitude anymore.
After I had dealt with the devil-child for 40 minutes, then I taught one more class and spent an hour trying to come up with lesson plan ideas for the adult classes. I've been doing lesson plans for a couple months now, but just recently, Naoko (the owner of the school) has been more particular about lesson ideas, and shoots down pretty much every one that I suggest. Plus, she and Ailsa have been telling me that, though my lessons are very good, they are too long and too difficult, so nothing I am doing is right, apparently.
By the time I got home on Wednesday night, I was so stressed out that I couldn't sleep, and I was honestly pretty close to having a panic attack. I felt I couldn't breathe, I was angry, and worried about everything. I can't blame all of this anxiety on that little girl, but she is a big cause of it - I've honestly never had to deal with a situation like this, or with a child who has such disrespect for teachers, or even for other kids. So after two days of brooding over it, I sat down last night and wrote a long message to Naoko, telling her that I've had enough, its not working, and that girl will have to work with another teacher from now on. I also told her straight that the girl needs to be disciplined and her parents need to be told how rude she has been to me and to other students. She needs to know that what she is doing is wrong, and not acceptable. But here, and I told Naoko this, I am dealing with uncomfortable territory because this is Japan, not America. I am immersed in a totally different culture. In America, we are very straightforward about problems, and we get to the root of them. Here in Japan you have to be much more delicate when complaining about something, and often people avoid problems rather than facing them (which could explain why Japan has one of the biggest suicide rates in the world). That explains why even though I complained about this girl three weeks ago, Naoko didn't do anything about it. She wanted to wait and see if the girl would get better - she passed it off as just that the girl is "moody." Moody, my ass - this girl is Damien's little sister! and after she received my message last night, she had the nerve to ask me if she could ask Ailsa for advice. Ailsa is the other teacher at the school, and she has never taught this little girl. She can no more offer advice than an outsider could - and Naoko is again just trying to avoid dealing with the situation herself. Sometimes I don't understand this country at all!
Anyway, I will be going to work later today and concluding this problem - she will have to find another teacher for that class, or transfer the girl to another class and let another teacher deal with her. I don't have the training for this, and I'm not paid enough.
Every cloud has a silver lining though - Thursday was better - I had a new student at home (I'll write more about her later) and Friday was great - Masahiko and I went for a drive into the countryside (towards Mt. Fuji and the lakes) and relaxed by looking at the gorgeous autumn leaves. I'll write more about that next time . . .
cranky
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