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laurainlimbo at 09:31am on 07/11/2005
laurainlimbo at 09:31am on 07/11/2005Note to myself: I need to start sleeping on the sofa bed rather than on the futon on the floor - my back has been killing me for weeks, and even though yoga helps temporarily I may be visiting a chiropractor soon!
Well, let's see . . . what is happening? I have written about my situation at the school in Shizuoka, and how I had decided that I can't teach that little girl anymore. Well, that was Friday night, and Naoko had written a couple of messages back to me saying that she wanted to talk to Ailsa, the other teacher, and that she would try to find another teacher for Wednesdays. But she wrote another message that totally incensed me. She said that other teachers have probably had problems like this, and that I shouldn't be hurt by what that little girl said. "Its just kids" she said, and Ailsa thinks that kids just don't know that what they are saying is wrong. First of all, I told her that I was not "hurt" by the little girl's behavior, and didn't take it personally. I was just fed up. I was just tired of being ignored after spending tons of time planning games and lessons that she might enjoy. And I don't want to be told that my lesson is boring. And while I agree that SOMETIMES kids don't know that what they are saying is wrong, isn't that when, as adults, we step in and tell them? Don't we need to tell kids (or at least tell the parents and leave it up to them - often a bad idea too) that they are acting improperly, or that they are being rude or disrespectful? I am not a parent, but I have definite ideas about how kids should be raised. I was hardly ever rude to teachers, and if I ever was, I was definitely told that I was wrong. And backing up a bit here, I feel that OFTEN kids are smarter than we think they are - and they DO know that what they are saying is wrong. That is why they say it. They want attention, and they are doing the only thing they know - that is to manipulate with their behavior. This girl is about 7 or 8. She is aware of her behavior. She is probably acting out in the only place where she is not punished for it. There are definitely problems at home - she is maybe spoiled, maybe she has problems with siblings, I just don't know. But things are obviously done differently in Japan than in the U.S. If this were America, we might have already sent this girl to see a therapist. At the very least, she needs to be told to stop her negative behavior. If her behavior is ignored (as she is ignoring me in class) then she will just continue it throughout her life. In Japan, kids are really put upon a pedestal - they are given lots of liberties and they are indulged way too much. Of course I don't believe in "punishing" kids as in spanking, but I do believe in discipline - and there is not enough of it here by parents. Parents want their kids to excel, they give their kids everything, and they ignore them when they misbehave. Then, once the kids get into junior high or high school, the discipline falls on the teachers. Its a given that Japanese high school teachers will be the ones to solely discipline kids when they have trouble. Maybe its just a different cultural perspective, but does that seem right? leaving discipline to teachers, rather than parents? Hopefully this little girl will not continue to be cold and difficult - but I can't do anything to help her. I guess I've said too much on the matter to Naoko already.
I was hoping to talk to Naoko more about this issue on Saturday when I went to work. But conveniently she didn't show up. and when I got home, she had sent me a long email saying that she feels sorry for me, she is not upset with me, and she will find another teacher for Wednesdays. She doesn't want to transfer the girl to another class, and she didn't mention anything about telling the parents about her behavior. Naoko also told me that in a couple months she wants to hire another full time teacher (she is using too many part timers like me now) so she won't renew my contract. Of course she said its not because of this situation (and I believe her), but it still makes me feel like a failure. I've proven that I can't handle teaching kids. But as I told a friend last night, I love kids when they are well behaved, and when they enjoy what you are doing for them. Otherwise, I don't have the patience - does that make me a failure?
Well, let's see . . . what is happening? I have written about my situation at the school in Shizuoka, and how I had decided that I can't teach that little girl anymore. Well, that was Friday night, and Naoko had written a couple of messages back to me saying that she wanted to talk to Ailsa, the other teacher, and that she would try to find another teacher for Wednesdays. But she wrote another message that totally incensed me. She said that other teachers have probably had problems like this, and that I shouldn't be hurt by what that little girl said. "Its just kids" she said, and Ailsa thinks that kids just don't know that what they are saying is wrong. First of all, I told her that I was not "hurt" by the little girl's behavior, and didn't take it personally. I was just fed up. I was just tired of being ignored after spending tons of time planning games and lessons that she might enjoy. And I don't want to be told that my lesson is boring. And while I agree that SOMETIMES kids don't know that what they are saying is wrong, isn't that when, as adults, we step in and tell them? Don't we need to tell kids (or at least tell the parents and leave it up to them - often a bad idea too) that they are acting improperly, or that they are being rude or disrespectful? I am not a parent, but I have definite ideas about how kids should be raised. I was hardly ever rude to teachers, and if I ever was, I was definitely told that I was wrong. And backing up a bit here, I feel that OFTEN kids are smarter than we think they are - and they DO know that what they are saying is wrong. That is why they say it. They want attention, and they are doing the only thing they know - that is to manipulate with their behavior. This girl is about 7 or 8. She is aware of her behavior. She is probably acting out in the only place where she is not punished for it. There are definitely problems at home - she is maybe spoiled, maybe she has problems with siblings, I just don't know. But things are obviously done differently in Japan than in the U.S. If this were America, we might have already sent this girl to see a therapist. At the very least, she needs to be told to stop her negative behavior. If her behavior is ignored (as she is ignoring me in class) then she will just continue it throughout her life. In Japan, kids are really put upon a pedestal - they are given lots of liberties and they are indulged way too much. Of course I don't believe in "punishing" kids as in spanking, but I do believe in discipline - and there is not enough of it here by parents. Parents want their kids to excel, they give their kids everything, and they ignore them when they misbehave. Then, once the kids get into junior high or high school, the discipline falls on the teachers. Its a given that Japanese high school teachers will be the ones to solely discipline kids when they have trouble. Maybe its just a different cultural perspective, but does that seem right? leaving discipline to teachers, rather than parents? Hopefully this little girl will not continue to be cold and difficult - but I can't do anything to help her. I guess I've said too much on the matter to Naoko already.
I was hoping to talk to Naoko more about this issue on Saturday when I went to work. But conveniently she didn't show up. and when I got home, she had sent me a long email saying that she feels sorry for me, she is not upset with me, and she will find another teacher for Wednesdays. She doesn't want to transfer the girl to another class, and she didn't mention anything about telling the parents about her behavior. Naoko also told me that in a couple months she wants to hire another full time teacher (she is using too many part timers like me now) so she won't renew my contract. Of course she said its not because of this situation (and I believe her), but it still makes me feel like a failure. I've proven that I can't handle teaching kids. But as I told a friend last night, I love kids when they are well behaved, and when they enjoy what you are doing for them. Otherwise, I don't have the patience - does that make me a failure?
sore