posted by
laurainlimbo at 02:53pm on 08/04/2006
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I just don't know what is wrong with me today. I feel so depressed, and seriously lacking in energy and motivation. There's really no explanation - we had a good day yesterday and I vowed to be positive and just put my energy fully into preparing for this move. I guess I just have so much to do, and I feel like there is so little time. Plus, I need Masahiko's help for most everything (especially figuring out the size and weight of boxes to send to the states, and getting paperwork prepared for Leo, etc.), and I hate relying on someone else to get important things done. And now its the weekend, so I can't do anything about mailing packages until next week. I'll be so happy once I send a couple boxes to the states, and once I get the apartment all finalized! One thing I did this morning, though, was I called SBC/Yahoo (AT&T) and set up a phone line and DSL cable service for my apartment - which will be all ready to go when I get there! Yay! I think that I will start packing my big suitcase today to see how things fit. it will at least give me some idea of how much I can take and what I have to leave behind. this is the really hard part of moving...
the weather today is really so weird. this morning it was super cold in the house because it was cloudy, and then we had about a 20-minute rainstorm, after which the sun came out and it was warm! now there is a very strong wind, and its getting cooler. I went for a short walk to the convenience store - had to pay for more minutes on my calling card, and get some snacks to help me through the day.
As much as I enjoy having free time, I will be so much happier when I have a regular routine - a job every day, a regular schedule, nights free, independence. I feel like I have no motivation when I am faced with an entire day of nothing to do and no responsibilities.
Yesterday around noon Masahiko just decided at the spur of the moment that he wanted to go surfing. He had to work in the morning, so we didn't get on the road until after 1 p.m. So by the time we arrived at the beach in the Izu, it was about 4 p.m. and he surfed until about 5:15. While he surfed I just walked a bit on the beach - but since it was too windy and the beach was too small, I then sat in the car and wrote a poem and meditated watching the waves, and the surfers. I will definitely miss the ocean when I move to Chicago - and I hope to move somewhere coastal again in the future (since I am inevitably going to move again - its just in my nature!).
since my brain is so scattered, I might not post again for a couple days. we are going to a BBQ party tomorrow (a farewell party for me, I guess), and then Monday is a big day to get stuff done, and Tuesday I teach. so its going to get busy! today I can't do much of anything, so I am going to just relax, and get my thoughts straight (if that is possible).
And I will leave you with the poem I wrote yesterday in the car:
( Coastal Meditations )
the weather today is really so weird. this morning it was super cold in the house because it was cloudy, and then we had about a 20-minute rainstorm, after which the sun came out and it was warm! now there is a very strong wind, and its getting cooler. I went for a short walk to the convenience store - had to pay for more minutes on my calling card, and get some snacks to help me through the day.
As much as I enjoy having free time, I will be so much happier when I have a regular routine - a job every day, a regular schedule, nights free, independence. I feel like I have no motivation when I am faced with an entire day of nothing to do and no responsibilities.
Yesterday around noon Masahiko just decided at the spur of the moment that he wanted to go surfing. He had to work in the morning, so we didn't get on the road until after 1 p.m. So by the time we arrived at the beach in the Izu, it was about 4 p.m. and he surfed until about 5:15. While he surfed I just walked a bit on the beach - but since it was too windy and the beach was too small, I then sat in the car and wrote a poem and meditated watching the waves, and the surfers. I will definitely miss the ocean when I move to Chicago - and I hope to move somewhere coastal again in the future (since I am inevitably going to move again - its just in my nature!).
since my brain is so scattered, I might not post again for a couple days. we are going to a BBQ party tomorrow (a farewell party for me, I guess), and then Monday is a big day to get stuff done, and Tuesday I teach. so its going to get busy! today I can't do much of anything, so I am going to just relax, and get my thoughts straight (if that is possible).
And I will leave you with the poem I wrote yesterday in the car:
( Coastal Meditations )
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