posted by
laurainlimbo at 09:59pm on 21/06/2006
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wow - I'm tired. but I have so much I want to do before I go to sleep. so I stay up late, and then I get more tired.
and I got my stupid infection back again. it's because of the antibiotics. why did they make me take two prescriptions at the same time, one of which actually created the problem that the other one is meant to get rid of? I'm convinced that medical professionals are just out to make money by pushing pharmaceuticals - they don't teach us about preventative medicine or how to heal ourselves naturally. they just push drugs. for every problem, there's a pill that will fix you. it's totally wrong, in my opinion. It's not like that in Japan. Japan is not a nation addicted to drugs. they eat much more healthy foods, and despite the stress of the average worker, which often leads to excess alcohol consumption and depression and overwork, they are much more well-adjusted people. I'm sure of it. They don't go for the quick fix there. And of course they have a society that takes care of it's people. that makes a big difference.
If there's one thing I've learned about this country, especially versus a collective society like Japan, it's that no one will ever take care of you here. you are on your own. it's every man or woman for him or her self. the medical system is proof of that. in Japan, we did have medical insurance - it's given to each family by the government. sure you pay a little, but the whole family is covered, regardless of age. even I was covered when I was there, so coming back here was a little tough since I gave up "nearly" free healthcare. I am offered a health plan with my company, but it's not 100 percent covered by my employer. so I can't afford to insure myself and my husband. He told me to get it for myself, because I need it more. that is probably true. he doesn't get sick, and he knows how to heal himself. I don't believe in doctors, but for some issues, there is nothing else to do - unless you just want to be sick or miserable all the time.
and I've felt pretty miserable for three weeks now.
i mean mentally I feel fine - I'm not unhappy, and I am not super stressed about things (except money which is a constant worry, and Netflix who are not getting the movies I send back to them). I miss my family, and I wish I had some friends, but I'm okay with life now.
I just wish I wasn't so tired. maybe it's because I let too many things get to me, especially at work. I'm too sensitive for this world. I always want things to be nice and smooth and sugar coated, and people take advantage of someone like that. I'm bothered by so many things: things that aren't done right, things that are falling apart and neglected, things that I want to change but can't. I used to call it idealism, but now I call it cynicism. Since I'm getting older and choose my battles, and know that so many things can't be changed or fixed no matter how hard we try, then I become complacent. and that bothers me too.
*sigh*
I'm so happy that my husband is busy with his music career, though. I have a feeling that things will really progress and improve for him, as long as he stays patient and tenacious, and doesn't get frustrated or cynical with how long it takes for things to happen, or how little you can actually count on people. But even though I'm glad he's busy, I'm sad that I don't see him much anymore. I knew this would happen - it's what happened before when we lived in Chicago, and one of the reasons we moved away. I work days, and he works nights. and often, like tonight, he'll even go out to jam and meet friends. And though I want to go with him, I'm always too tired to go out at night. I was going to go with him tonight, for example, to meet our friend Kenny who just got into town from Seattle. But they are starting out at 10 p.m., and it's just too late for me since i get up at 6:30 a.m.
oh, and I watched "Syriana" tonight. with George Clooney and Matt Damon. ( read more )
so I hope you are all having a great week. and happy Summer Solstice.
and I got my stupid infection back again. it's because of the antibiotics. why did they make me take two prescriptions at the same time, one of which actually created the problem that the other one is meant to get rid of? I'm convinced that medical professionals are just out to make money by pushing pharmaceuticals - they don't teach us about preventative medicine or how to heal ourselves naturally. they just push drugs. for every problem, there's a pill that will fix you. it's totally wrong, in my opinion. It's not like that in Japan. Japan is not a nation addicted to drugs. they eat much more healthy foods, and despite the stress of the average worker, which often leads to excess alcohol consumption and depression and overwork, they are much more well-adjusted people. I'm sure of it. They don't go for the quick fix there. And of course they have a society that takes care of it's people. that makes a big difference.
If there's one thing I've learned about this country, especially versus a collective society like Japan, it's that no one will ever take care of you here. you are on your own. it's every man or woman for him or her self. the medical system is proof of that. in Japan, we did have medical insurance - it's given to each family by the government. sure you pay a little, but the whole family is covered, regardless of age. even I was covered when I was there, so coming back here was a little tough since I gave up "nearly" free healthcare. I am offered a health plan with my company, but it's not 100 percent covered by my employer. so I can't afford to insure myself and my husband. He told me to get it for myself, because I need it more. that is probably true. he doesn't get sick, and he knows how to heal himself. I don't believe in doctors, but for some issues, there is nothing else to do - unless you just want to be sick or miserable all the time.
and I've felt pretty miserable for three weeks now.
i mean mentally I feel fine - I'm not unhappy, and I am not super stressed about things (except money which is a constant worry, and Netflix who are not getting the movies I send back to them). I miss my family, and I wish I had some friends, but I'm okay with life now.
I just wish I wasn't so tired. maybe it's because I let too many things get to me, especially at work. I'm too sensitive for this world. I always want things to be nice and smooth and sugar coated, and people take advantage of someone like that. I'm bothered by so many things: things that aren't done right, things that are falling apart and neglected, things that I want to change but can't. I used to call it idealism, but now I call it cynicism. Since I'm getting older and choose my battles, and know that so many things can't be changed or fixed no matter how hard we try, then I become complacent. and that bothers me too.
*sigh*
I'm so happy that my husband is busy with his music career, though. I have a feeling that things will really progress and improve for him, as long as he stays patient and tenacious, and doesn't get frustrated or cynical with how long it takes for things to happen, or how little you can actually count on people. But even though I'm glad he's busy, I'm sad that I don't see him much anymore. I knew this would happen - it's what happened before when we lived in Chicago, and one of the reasons we moved away. I work days, and he works nights. and often, like tonight, he'll even go out to jam and meet friends. And though I want to go with him, I'm always too tired to go out at night. I was going to go with him tonight, for example, to meet our friend Kenny who just got into town from Seattle. But they are starting out at 10 p.m., and it's just too late for me since i get up at 6:30 a.m.
oh, and I watched "Syriana" tonight. with George Clooney and Matt Damon. ( read more )
so I hope you are all having a great week. and happy Summer Solstice.
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