it's not life that matters but the journey...

Well, everyone has to exhibit a little drama now and then, right? In my last post, I was feeling introspective, and just writing whatever came to my mind, and it turned out to sound a bit negative. but really it wasn't. it was cathartic. That's why I like this journal. it helps me to think out what is on my mind, and by writing it down, I can see it in a better perspective. but thanks to those of you who listened and replied. it meant a lot!

I got this new Gemini icon - and I thought it appropriate since I'm such a typical Gemini. so many phases to my personality...and I'm always so restless. which is why I get so introspective and impatient with the world, and with myself, sometimes.

the good thing is that I feel a lot better today - even yesterday before my doctor's visit I felt better too. But I went to see the doctor anyway, which was both good and not so good. I just got this new health insurance, which my company covers 60% - yet it's still not cheap. And it's an HMO, so I have to see a "Primary Care Physician" who then has to assess my situation and refer me to someone else. The physician I saw yesterday didn't really do much for me at all. She's Polish, and I'm sure she knows medicine, but she wasn't super friendly, and she didn't ask me many questions. and when I asked her questions, her answers were not what I wanted to hear. I think I know my body better, so I wonder if it was even helpful to talk to her about it. Anyway, what she can do is refer me to specialists, so I will do that, and get more tests and checks later. and it's good to have insurance for emergencies. I just need to make more money so I can afford better insurance for both of us.

not a very exciting weekend planned. we could go and brave the crowds, and spend lots of money for the big "Taste of Chicago" festival downtown. But I don't generally like big festivals, especially when you have to pay lots of money. I like free ones. so I think I'll just get my grocery shopping done, and do some writing projects that I've been putting off. I say this all of the time, but I think I'll really do it tonight. M is not playing music this weekend so just being with him at night is nice. he does his thing and do mine, but we are still together, so it feels good.

in other news, I found out that a good friend of mine, who I met in Japan years ago, is getting married. I'm so happy for her. Her fiancee is from Turkey, and she got to visit his family for two weeks recently. She said it was 115 degrees in Turkey, and their luggage was lost for four days (and found again, luckily), but I envy her. I would love to visit some exotic country where I've never been... I've got to save my money by staying at home weekends for a year or more and then maybe I can take a trip somewhere...

everyone has to dream right?

until later...