it's not life that matters but the journey...

I use grounding now, and time outs when they were younger.

I am big on respect. I don't care what you say as long it is said without anger and with respect, it goes a long way in this house and really helps with communication. Mind you, Torrin was a ball of angst and depression in his early teens and Colin is Bi-polar/adhd so what I do doesn't always work for others.

I give them time frames, your chores need to be done between such and such a time - the reward/punishment is tv/xbox time.(Not so much Torrin now as he is employed and 18. He still has to do his room and garbage, but other chores are more optional.)

Also on school days it is always homework first. Period.