it's not life that matters but the journey...

Oof. The IRS sucks. You might be able to find some info on their Web site: http://www.irs.gov/individuals/index.html.

As for losing the connection with the tax guy, it's probably for the best. Next time you call, I hope you get someone who knows how to answer your questions and who knows how to talk into the receiver. :) When I used to work for a telephone answering service, sometimes some of the other operators would flip the headset receiver up or back and forget that they did that before answering another call. The folks on the line could hear them, but they'd usually say something like, "I can hardly hear you!" and then the operator would sheepishly pull his mic back around and say "Is this better?" D'oh!

About feeling torn about your decision to move back to the states: I'm very much in the same boat as you regarding my life choices right now. On the one hand, for several years now I've wanted to have a fulfilling job and do something worthwhile with my life. Now I have the chance, by getting into the Moorpark EATM program. But now that I've decided to do it, well, late at night when I'm up all by myself and thinking too much (as I am wont to do), I get really scared. I want to just stay in the comfort zone that I know of being at home, only doing the housework and not much else, no risks, no rewards. It's safer. I have a feeling you feel that way about Japan. It was a safe place to be, but it wasn't filling your soul. You were just spinning your wheels for the most part, am I right? So, you and I are both doing the brave thing, the scary thing, and becoming active participants in our own lives. Take pride in that. If you will, then perhaps I can find some comfort in that, as well.

I wouldn't worry about forgetting Japan. For one thing, it's not like you'll never go there again. Your husband has family there. For another, it's in your soul now, it's a part of you. You may miss it, but you won't forget it. Little things will creep in every now and then. Things will happen or people will say things that remind you of it. You'll most likely just take away the best of Japan. But right now you're highly distracted with setting up your life here in the states again. When things calm down, you'll feel better.

All right, so either everything I've said so far is stuff you know already, or I'm totally misreading everything and it's all b.s. :) I'm just trying to lend a supportive virtual shoulder. Hopefully I did okay.

Now for some lighter stuff. I saw "The Girl with the Pearl Earring." I liked it a lot, but apparently there was some big hubbub about it in the art world, and the artistic types hate the movie because it totally misrepresents the facts of that artist's life. I thought it was pretty funny that they got all worked up over an artist's (the director's) interpretation of another artist's life.