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laurainlimbo at 11:17pm on 24/02/2006
laurainlimbo at 11:17pm on 24/02/2006I'm so disappointed that only one person commented on the crazy links that I posted here the other day... I thought more people might enjoy the goofy Japanese spiderman TV show that my husband found ... or at least the story on the bunny (omfg its a giant bunny rabbit!)
anyway, I enjoyed them! And on that day (was it just yesterday?), I was feeling really upbeat and positive, not even worried about my future at all. somehow I was just happy to be alive and enjoying things. Reality was really far away... which was nice for awhile...
But unfortunately, those kinds of days are rare, and as I sit here now, at 11:30 p.m. on a Friday night, I'm feeling very lost - reality has once again hit me, hard!
it could be due to the seriously schizophrenic weather that we're having here. Fuji can't decide if it should move on to an early spring (we had two days of above normal temps, sunshine and warmth), or if it should hang on to winter (today was flipping cold, with rain, wind and clouds, and we once again had to resort to the icky oil heater to heat up the room)...
or it could be that I've slipped into a daily routine that is making my life very mundane and pointless. Besides my few classes at home, and besides my Fridays that I go to Shimizu, I'm not doing anything else productive these days. I've lost my motivation to exercise or study japanese or write my novel (though I have been reading the "how-to" books, so I'm getting the ideas moving around in my head - I just haven't written anything down) - and I don't know how to get the motivation back because I'm so stressed about my future...
meanwhile time keeps ticking and its almost March!
But I know that I can't just blame the weather, and I can't just blame routine (after all, routine is healthy and keeps most people organized - that is MOST people!) I have to start looking deep within and figuring out what it is that I really want out of life. And that's easier said than done. ( cut here for deep thoughts about my conundrum )
anyway, I enjoyed them! And on that day (was it just yesterday?), I was feeling really upbeat and positive, not even worried about my future at all. somehow I was just happy to be alive and enjoying things. Reality was really far away... which was nice for awhile...
But unfortunately, those kinds of days are rare, and as I sit here now, at 11:30 p.m. on a Friday night, I'm feeling very lost - reality has once again hit me, hard!
it could be due to the seriously schizophrenic weather that we're having here. Fuji can't decide if it should move on to an early spring (we had two days of above normal temps, sunshine and warmth), or if it should hang on to winter (today was flipping cold, with rain, wind and clouds, and we once again had to resort to the icky oil heater to heat up the room)...
or it could be that I've slipped into a daily routine that is making my life very mundane and pointless. Besides my few classes at home, and besides my Fridays that I go to Shimizu, I'm not doing anything else productive these days. I've lost my motivation to exercise or study japanese or write my novel (though I have been reading the "how-to" books, so I'm getting the ideas moving around in my head - I just haven't written anything down) - and I don't know how to get the motivation back because I'm so stressed about my future...
meanwhile time keeps ticking and its almost March!
But I know that I can't just blame the weather, and I can't just blame routine (after all, routine is healthy and keeps most people organized - that is MOST people!) I have to start looking deep within and figuring out what it is that I really want out of life. And that's easier said than done. ( cut here for deep thoughts about my conundrum )
confused
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