laurainlimbo: (random thoughts)
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posted by [personal profile] laurainlimbo at 10:01pm on 09/08/2006
this has been a very strange week. I don't know why, but it just is. first of all, I can't believe it's already past the middle of the week and it still feels like Monday. I feel like I'm stuck in a loop that's just going round and round - nothing changes much in my daily life. I wonder if I can change that. I can't believe it's the second week of August. where did time go? it feels like just last month that I left Japan - yet Japan also seems like a big dream. I had meant to do so much writing about Japan, but that idea just got lost like all of my other big ambitions. I plan to change that soon. my evenings and weekends need to be more productive (famous last words), including japanese study, writing, exercise, cooking. I need to be creative. but how do I move from just talk to actuality? that there is the challenge.

last weekend was uninteresting as usual - just did the usual shopping, cleaning, organizing (but not enough of that), and going to Sunday jazz brunch, which we usually try to do. there's a couple different restaurants that have a brunch with free live jazz, which is a nice way to spend a few hours on a Sunday. otherwise there wasn't much going on. I was feeling fine and getting enough rest, and it wasn't hot, which was nice for a change.

but for some reason I woke up on Monday feeling like shit. I was achy all over, and had absolutely not one grain of energy. I just had this overwhelming feeling of malaise, and I couldn't be bothered to go to work. I tried, though. I got up at 7 and made coffee and got some slacks out of the closet. and that is all. with the coffee brewed, I turned around and went back to bed. I couldn't really say that I was sick, in the normal sense of the word. let's just say I was tired, and I just needed a day to "play hooky" and not be in the office. maybe it was irresponsible, but I wanted another day to do nothing. and it was great! I watched the rest of the Twin Peaks first season DVD's (which I have been meaning to watch for a long time), I slept, and I just didn't think about anything. it did refresh me, and it made the return to work on Tuesday so much easier. all the stress from last week was gone - it has been an easy week, and though there are occasional stressful situations, overall I'm not so worried. I'm just going to take it easy and work less overtime - which of course will be easier when my husband finally starts working.

and that should be very soon. after deciding that he no longer wants to be a full time musician, he has been searching for a job with a Japanese company now for three weeks - he's had three interviews so far and two companies already want him and he still has two interviews on Friday, plus a second interview with a company he already interviewed with next Monday.

though I do have moments of missing Japan - the mountains, the ocean, the casual pace, the whole being a foreigner in a foreign land - I am starting to feel like maybe this choice to move back to Chicago was the right thing - finally. of course we don't want to retire here. we hope to make enough money and experience to relocate to a more temperate climate - ideally Hawaii, but realistically???? anything is possible. and while I don't love my job, it is stable for now. and there is still time for me to find something that I do enjoy - if I could only figure out what that is.

well, that's enough rambling. the next post will be media related. if you've stayed with me this long, thanks! a friend who reads rambling LJ posts is a friend indeed.

good night and don't let the bed bugs bite. really.
Mood:: 'contemplative' contemplative
Music:: joe pass on dvd
There are 31 comments on this entry. (Reply.)
 
posted by [identity profile] seeker147.livejournal.com at 03:53am on 10/08/2006
I understand that general malaise after the weekend. I often get that feeling. It's good that you took the day off when you needed it.

I hope your hubby gets a job soon.

*HUGS*
 
posted by [identity profile] laurainlimbo.livejournal.com at 12:09am on 11/08/2006
thanks for the hugs and the good wishes. it means a lot! I am feeling okay now, just tired. and I wish my life was exciting you know?

*hugs* back!

any word on the job? how's the sleeping? I couldn't sleep last night but it was because of my kitty. *sigh*

take care!
 
posted by [identity profile] seeker147.livejournal.com at 01:04am on 13/08/2006
I'm still not sleeping well, but sometimes I have a hard time around my period.
 
posted by [identity profile] laurainlimbo.livejournal.com at 02:04am on 13/08/2006
sorry to hear that. I can't sleep well most nights but it's for noise and worries etc. my period can give me lots of pain, and it's not a fun time.

take care!

*big hugs*

how's your new place by the way? are you adapting?
 
posted by [identity profile] seeker147.livejournal.com at 01:20pm on 18/08/2006
I'm finally starting to sleep well, so I'm doing okay now. The new place is great. It was easy to adapt because the landlords are so good about things. I just need some furniture! I have a very barren living room.
 
posted by [identity profile] laurainlimbo.livejournal.com at 12:32am on 20/08/2006
I'm glad that you are sleeping - I'm not sleeping well these days. *sigh*

It's good you have nice landlords - my apartment is terrible and we want to move soon. but we are renting a furnished place so we need to buy lots of things too. a barren living room is not good:) good luck!!

any chance of pics of the new place?
 
posted by [identity profile] seeker147.livejournal.com at 04:14am on 23/08/2006
Oh, I hope you start sleeping well soon. I hope you find a good place, too. Has your hubby gotten a job, yet?

I'll try to put up some pics of the new place when it's furnished. :-)
 
posted by [identity profile] laurainlimbo.livejournal.com at 02:33am on 25/08/2006
I'm sleeping better but still things are a bit stressful. my husband's been waiting for a long time for this job to give him an answer - he had two interviews and thought it was a "go" but they are getting some approval from the head of the company in Japan apparently. it's very nerve-wrecking. thanks for asking. I will post the results when we find out.

*hugs*
 
posted by [identity profile] daizze.livejournal.com at 10:45am on 10/08/2006
ITS VERY HARD SOME TIMES TO BE PROACTIVE, WHEN ALL YOU CAN DO IS BE REACTIVE, BUT TIME WAITS FOR NO ONE AND THESE (I'll take my caps lock off now and sorry i couldnt be bothered to retype!) times will pass, you then move onto the next phase.

But honey i have a police hellicopter hovvering over my house as they have just raided another place round the cornor, terrorist suspected activity. They are looking for liquid/chemical explosives and its a times like these you think, well what was i really worrying over that for!

Im glad that you are maybe on the road to acceptance for for position at the moment, it may change who knows what fate will bring?!!
 
posted by [identity profile] laurainlimbo.livejournal.com at 12:07am on 11/08/2006
wow, you sure made me feel humbled. and that's good:) I know that I am just being a bumbling complainer, and it really isn't that bad. I am not unhappy, just a little restless (but that's my nature I'm a Gemini). when I wrote my post, I wasn't aware of the terrorist activities going on in England. yes, I agree there are bigger problems in the world and my problems don't amount to a "hill of beans" as Bogie says in "Casablanca". I am on the road to acceptance though - things are going to get much better for me, I know it. it just takes time.

did they really find terrorists around the corner from you? are you okay? that's really scary.

take care, hon!! thanks for the uplifting words. it's encouraging and great to have friends like I have here:)
 
posted by [identity profile] daizze.livejournal.com at 08:39am on 11/08/2006
Oh my have just re read my post was I patronising? I can be sometimes and yes your problems/difficulties are important Laura...
I was just trying to get some context, patience is a vertue, its also a bloody nightmare!!!
But I do believe good things come to those that wait..... so when you move to Hawaii can I come too? lol

Yeah they have arrested some people on the road above my house, about 2 mins away, also in another area my side of town, they are searching woods my side of town, all good fun!

We have had the presss around here all day yesterday and the police hellicopter too, what fun am back at work tonight so may find out more, we will probably be on standby I guess??
 
posted by [identity profile] laurainlimbo.livejournal.com at 02:02am on 13/08/2006
oh, no worries at all. sometimes it's good to have someone bring me back to earth a little and be a little realistic. context is important, yes.

my problems are big for me, but they're basically the same as most people's: money, future worries, job concerns, relationship issues, etc. and it's all solveable with time and patience and perserverance.

ah, patience - wish I had more, and really wish my husband had some at all.

wow - can't believe they arrested people near your own house. how exciting, if not a little frightening.

did you find out more at work? do tell!!

take care, k? and thanks for your thoughts - I always appreciate them...
 
posted by [identity profile] daizze.livejournal.com at 10:47am on 13/08/2006
I did find out a lil more about the investigation and we have a whole new set of protocols that we have to follow, but unfortunately as this is sort of public I cant say...
 
posted by [identity profile] laurainlimbo.livejournal.com at 12:35am on 17/08/2006
ooh if you have juicy details tell me in an email!

or is it all died down now?
 
posted by [identity profile] daizze.livejournal.com at 08:34am on 17/08/2006
fraid I cant hun....! Nothing dramatic just as I said new protocols we are having to adopt oh and we are on standby in case it all kicks off both racially and the investigation..

They are searching woods and apparently have found stuff!!!
 
posted by [identity profile] laurainlimbo.livejournal.com at 04:43pm on 19/08/2006
wow - sounds so intriguing. searching the woods near where you live? sounds like something out of a movie, though real life is stranger than fiction isn't it. keep us posted, if you can!
 
posted by [identity profile] daizze.livejournal.com at 06:58pm on 19/08/2006
'k well another two houses raided and in the woods a suitcase partially burnt containing martydom videos and stuff..
Still a strong police presence in fact from all over the country to help out, helicoptor overhead three times yesterday..... not good!
 
posted by [identity profile] laurainlimbo.livejournal.com at 12:12pm on 21/08/2006
wow - strange days indeed! that stuff wouldn't happen here in the city - no place for people to hide.

anyway, keep posting on LJ so we know you are ok!!

 
posted by [identity profile] daizze.livejournal.com at 06:05pm on 21/08/2006
http://uk.news.yahoo.com/21082006/140/charges-airport-terror-plot.html


some of the stuff was found in my area apparently!!
 
posted by [identity profile] laurainlimbo.livejournal.com at 05:35pm on 23/08/2006
that's super scary. is it dying down now, all of the activity? did they catch everyone? take care and be careful!!

 
posted by [identity profile] daizze.livejournal.com at 07:01pm on 23/08/2006
uummmm houses still being blocked off by police and the wood too... so still some activity
 
posted by [identity profile] dawnie1970.livejournal.com at 04:44pm on 10/08/2006
Oh sweetie, *big huggles*, life can really get everyone down. I certainly hope everything works out the way you want, and take care of yourself! You don't want to get really sick before the baby comes!
 
posted by [identity profile] laurainlimbo.livejournal.com at 08:19pm on 10/08/2006
eek you make it sound like I'm having a baby. you mean my sister's baby right? actually the thing is I am not depressed or anything, I was just tired and needed a day to do nothing. you know how it is? and my husband has been a bit stressed, so that makes me more stressed too. hopefully soon he'll get his life in order, then I can work on mine. we do make sacrifices sometimes for our loved ones.

no I don't want to get sick before visiting my sister for her wedding next month - and her baby will be born in December.
 
posted by [identity profile] dawnie1970.livejournal.com at 04:37pm on 11/08/2006
Yep, I meant your sister's baby, sorry if that sounding confusing. *pets*

The wedding will be invigorating, a change of pace is nice. But yes, I well know what you mean about being tired and burnt out. Life can be a killer. Which is probably why I spend so much time living in my head writing stories, whether I write them down or not. Better then head explosion. And I agree, when hubby is stressed the household is stressed. Bad vibes abound. You are both in my prayers. *hugs* You should do something nice just for yourself hon, just for Laura.
 
posted by [identity profile] laurainlimbo.livejournal.com at 01:54am on 13/08/2006
I figured you meant that but I just wanted to be sure - I'm not ready for my own baby just yet...

yes the wedding will be great fun - and I haven't seen my parents since April of 2005. I miss them!!

I should do some writing to deal with the stress of life. I just can't turn off the internal editor so whatever I write sounds terrible to me, and I can't keep going. I've done lots of writing but don't like it.

ah, yes, hubby stress does add to the stress of the household. he will be fine if these companies can just make up their minds and if someone would hire him.

hmmm something just for Laura huh? how about a trip to Ireland to visit Cillian? or maybe just a Cillian movie fest...

more realistically I've been downloading tons of music and also supernatural shows... going to watch a couple tonight and watch a movie tomorrow. that's my relaxation!

*BIG HUGS*
 
posted by [identity profile] dawnie1970.livejournal.com at 02:48pm on 14/08/2006
*big hugs back* I wish you nothing but happiness hon, you deserve it.
 
posted by [identity profile] laurainlimbo.livejournal.com at 02:48am on 15/08/2006
aw thanks. you're so so sweet!!
 
posted by [identity profile] flyingichthyo.livejournal.com at 12:13am on 11/08/2006
*sigh*

Hawaii. It's beautiful there. Really, if you ever get a chance to go? Go.
 
posted by [identity profile] laurainlimbo.livejournal.com at 12:48am on 11/08/2006
well we visited there for just a few days a couple years ago and it was fantastic. we'd love to live there as it's close to both america and japan - and there's lots of other Japanese people there and the beautiful ocean.

come visit us if we get there someday, k?

I love dreaming...
 
posted by [identity profile] flyingichthyo.livejournal.com at 10:24pm on 12/08/2006
I would *love* that. ;D
 
posted by [identity profile] laurainlimbo.livejournal.com at 01:24am on 13/08/2006
ooh me too!

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