it's not life that matters but the journey...

I don't know if it's because it's that time of the month, or because I'm fighting a cold, but I'm just feeling really sad and lonely today. of course living with an unemployed person, who reminds you every day how depressed and frustrated he is, doesn't help. But no matter the reason, I'm taking advantage of this national holiday today to rest and do nothing. I had thought I'd have more energy, and perhaps get out and get my bus pass or do some shopping - but I have a killer headache, so I should probably just sleep.

Work has been okay this week. Not nearly as crazy busy as last week, thankfully! I taught only two classes Monday, and three yesterday and the day before. Yesterday afternoon I left school at 1 p.m. for a meeting at City Hall - this is going to be a regular monthly meeting with my supervisor, some representative of Fuji's Board of Education, and the other 7 ALT's who work in Fuji city schools. I think these kinds of meetings are a waste of time, especially for someone like me who never breaks the rules and who is mature enough to follow rules and other things. It seems that all we talked about were what we shouldn't do, and when we shouldn't take days off, etc. Apparently, some of the younger, stupider ALT's are already doing things to piss off the company supervisor, so he is already starting to treat us all like children. For example, one guys went to his sister's wedding in Hong Kong over the weekend, got delayed coming back and missed his classes on Monday! He also didn't get his time sheet faxed in and they've told us repeatedly if we don't get our time sheets in, then no one will get paid! He acts like it's no big deal! And another guy decided that he wanted to go to Kyoto for an extra long Golden Week holiday, so he was leaving last night for Kyoto, and planning to call in sick on Friday morning - he's supposed to be at school teaching! You see - the holidays don't really start until Saturday - we get today off, but we're expected to be back to teach tomorrow, and then we have five days off (the weekend plus Monday through Wednesday). these guys are really being immature and not treating this job like a serious commitment. Oh well - nothing I can do about it!

So tomorrow I do go back and teach four classes, then I have five days off - which are my last holidays (except weekends) until the end of July. I don't have plans for Golden Week - I think I'll just watch a bunch of movies and tv shows and be lazy and eat snacks! I don't want to travel - it's too tiring, for one, and too expensive - plus the roads and destinations will be so crowded since these are national holidays. And who knows what the weather will be - it's been terrible in April: one day cold and rainy, the next day hot and sunny, the next cold... and so so much rain! I'm tired of rain!

Anyway, I wish I could feel more excited about my job and about teaching, but I don't feel much like I'm a part of the schools, or like I'm really reaching the kids. So far it's not like when I was teaching at the high school 12 years ago - then I really felt like the kids were my friends and that I was valued for my teaching. Now, since I work as a contractor and not directly for the school or BOE, I feel like I'm just an outsider, just the token foreigner they have to help them teach English. I'm mostly talking about the junior high school - the elementary kids so far have been great - enthusiastic and fun and cute. they enjoy the classes and aren't afraid to use English. But the junior high kids are just so unmotivated. Even if I give them what I think is a "fun" activity, or even if we sing a song or talk about fun things, they just don't want to try. They are at that awkward age when I think it's even hard to reach them in their own language - so when I try to talk to them in English I'm just greeted with stares, or even worse terror!
One strategy I have is to just use Japanese with them, and then when they're comfortable, drop in some English - this is when I talk to them outside of class, for example at lunchtime, when I eat lunch in the classrooms.
I'm hoping that once I get a little more comfortable in the school, and once the kids know me better, I can get my camera out and start taking pictures of the lunch times, and the club activities. I did wander around the school last Tuesday, which happened to be the only clear sunny day in awhile, and visited some of the kids doing art, or playing sports. It was fun - and I think it's going to be the best way for me to bond with the kids and get them to talk to me.

Well my headache seems to be worse again so I'm going to sign off. I have some pictures I took of the outside of my junior high, and a temple across the street... may post those later.

For now I'll leave you with a very nice version of "Taking Chances" - I really liked this song on Glee, and I love this version too (just so long as it's not sung by Celine Dion!)