it's not life that matters but the journey...

Hello! Yes, I'm still alive, and I am still in Washington state. I can't believe that I've actually been here for over a week already - time has flown. It's been a bit of a strange trip so far, but mostly it's been great just to be back in the U.S., and back with my family again.

Let's see if I can sum up what's happened so far:


Thursday August 5th I left Japan. I took the Shinkansen (bullet train) from Fuji to Tokyo, dragged my suitcase all the way across Tokyo station and down to the basement where I caught the Narita Express to the airport, and flew to Seattle. My flight was not very memorable, except that one of my flight attendants looked a bit like Ron Burgundy (the Will Farrell character in "Anchorman") and almost all of the movies offered were terrible. I did watch the remake of "Clash of the Titans" (which was just OK), and a pretty bad movie with Steve Carrell and Tina Fey called "Date Night." When I arrived in Seattle, my sister was there to meet me with my niece and nephew in tow - and we got caught in a really long traffic jam on the way back to her house because I-90 was shut down for the Blue Angels who were in town. The rest of that afternoon was just spent at my sister's house relaxing and playing with her kids.

Friday August 6th we took Cameron (my nephew) to his soccer practice. Jim, my sister's husband, also went with us. It was fun watching Cameron learn to play soccer - he's not even four yet but already has a mind of his own. But he seems to really enjoy the practice, and interacts pretty well with other kids. After the soccer practice we went over to a little park area near Lake Washington to watch the Blue Angels practice. It was an unseasonably cool day, and cloudy - but not raining thankfully. We enjoyed seeing the Blue Angels, and they were flying incredibly low because there were so many clouds. The rest of that day was not too eventful - oh except that I walked over to the little market near my sister's house after dinner, and on my way back I got stung by a wasp! Bastard just attacked me when I walked by some bushes up the street from my sister's house. Thankfully I had a long-sleeved shirt on, and it didn't do much but just leave a little red mark. I put ice on it and it was better by the next day.

Saturday August 7th was a really slow day. We had thought about going shopping at the mall, but instead the only outing we made was to the drug store and the grocery store in the early afternoon. We then watched a very sad John Cusack movie called "Grace is Gone" on cable. For dinner, my sister prepared fish tacos, which were really good.

Unfortunately much of the time spent at my sister's house was a bit stressful because of the kids. Cameron is 3 years and 9 months, and Shannon is 1 1/2. They are both adorable kids, and they have moments when they are fun to be around. But sadly, most of the time they are screaming or crying or demanding something, especially demanding my sister's attention. Shannon is still breastfeeding, so this means that Cameron doesn't get nearly enough of his mother's attention. His reaction then is to brood and to act out so that he will get attention - he throws things, he screams, and he is basically not a nice kid. And Shannon, being in the shadow of her older brother, picks up his bad habits. She is now also throwing things, hitting, and screaming to get attention. My sister and her husband never use the word "No" with the kids, so basically the kids have no boundaries. By Saturday night, I was so exhausted from hearing those kids' outbursts that I was ready to scream myself!
The other unfortunate thing about having two small kids is that I couldn't spend any quality time with my sister. The only time we went out without the kids was Saturday afternoon, when we went to the drugstore and grocery store. Otherwise, she's putting one of them down for a nap, breastfeeding, bathing, or entertaining them. She's exhausted! And I can't even imagine how she does it - and she does it much of the time alone since her husband is a pilot and often gone on trips. And even when Jim is home, he spends so much time downstairs on his computer or on the phone with friends or colleagues.

Sunday, August 8th - we left Seattle for Port Angeles. I was very glad to get out of my sister's house because I hadn't felt very relaxed there. The drive over wasn't too bad, except for the short time that I was left alone with Shannon during the ferry ride. When we first got onto the ferry, Shannon was sleeping - so Allison felt comfortable going upstairs to the deck with Cameron. I was tired, and said I'd stay behind with Shannon - I thought she perhaps wouldn't wake up. But just my luck, about 5 minutes after Allison and Cameron left, Shannon woke up. I entertained her for a few minutes with toys and just making faces - but soon she got tired of that and started to fuss. So I took her out of her baby seat, thinking she might calm down a bit. I put her in my lap, but then she started to cry - and to scream! So I turned on the car stereo and played a CD that the kids love - that worked for a few minutes, and thankfully Allison came back just after that. We arrived at my mom's house pretty early - after stopping at McDonald's for a snack, we got there in time for lunch. In the afternoon we didn't do much at all - I was still tired, and I hadn't seen my mom, so we just hung around, drank wine and had a nice Spaghetti dinner that night.

Monday, August 9th was another uneventful day. I hadn't been sleeping well at my sister's place, but my mom gave me a half of an Ambien on Sunday night - so thankfully I was a bit more rested on Monday. We hung around the house all day - and my mom and sister made a nice chicken dinner with rice and corn on the cob. My aunt and uncle came over for dessert that night and we talked for awhile. It was a good night.

Tuesday, August 10th was the day of my father's second memorial - the day we put his ashes into the ocean (well, technically into the Strait of Juan de Fuca). I may end up writing more about this memorial because it turned out to be the most beautiful and unexpectedly perfect day. At 9:15 a.m., Chad from the funeral chapel picked us up at home - my mom, my sister, my brother, my uncle Larry and me. The funeral home had arranged our boat, and had prepared my father's ashes, which had been placed in a special biodegradable container (which looked a bit like styrofoam) with a picture of a sailboat on the top. Chad drove us from Port Angeles to just past Sequim, where our boat was waiting at John Wayne Marina. The boat was run by a company called "The Water Limousine" which runs boat tours out to the San Juan Islands and various other islands and places around the pacific northwest. We got into the little boat, an enclosed catamarin which holds about six people - and the captain took us three miles out to a place where we could release my father's ashes into the water. After we each wrote a message on the container, my sister and I each read a poem (my sister read something by John Muir, and I read "I Thank you God" by e.e. cummings), and my mom read the 23rd Psalm from the Bible. Then Chad gave us a bouquet of roses, and we placed some of these, along with some flowers from my uncle's garden, onto the top of the container with my father’s ashes. My sister and I then lowered it into the water, and it floated a bit then started to sink. We had a moment of silence, then we listened to Mozart (my father's favorite), and the captain circled around the spot for a few minutes so we could watch the flowers and have some more time for personal reflection. After that, the captain took us a bit further out in the strait to see Protection Island, which is a government owned island and a National Wildlife Refuge just at the mouth of Discovery Bay (see here: http://www.fws.gov/refuges/profiles/index.cfm?id=13533 )
We then opened our champagne and had a toast to my father, and at the captain’s suggestion even poured a glass for my dad and poured it into the water. We ate some cheese, drank some champagne and had a nice annotated tour around the island, and saw some puffins, bald eagles, and many harbor seals which live on the island. Since the island is protected (hence the name), no one is allowed on the island or within a certain distance, so we had to use binoculars to see the animals and birds, but it was really a nice treat! After we toured around the island for about 30 minutes or so, we headed back to the Marina and then back to Port Angeles. We all agreed that the perfect word to describe such a perfect day was Serendipity – everything just seemed to come together, and the weather was clear and gorgeous, and the water was calm and smooth, almost like glass. It was the perfect way for me to say goodbye to my father, and a really wonderful memory.

After we got back to PA, the weather was so gorgeous that I had to get out and go for a walk – so I walked all the way down to the waterfront and on the trail next to the water, and then back – it was over an hour’s walk and it felt great. When I returned home, my mom and sister were making dinner – unfortunately not a great dinner for me, since it was pot roast and potatoes and carrots. I’m not a big red meat eater these days, so I ate mostly potatoes. And the other unfortunate thing was that my sister’s kids were particularly difficult during this dinner, and Shannon especially screamed and fussed and threw food on the floor. Cameron wouldn’t eat, and was surly and difficult too. By the end of the evening, I was so tired of the kids’ screaming and bad behaviour, and so upset because they didn’t seem to want anything to do with me or my mom. I was also disappointed once again that my sister and I didn’t have any quality time together – in fact we’ve had more disagreements and arguments than usual on this trip, I think because she’s so stressed about her kids that she’s taking it out on me and nitpicking and finding fault with so much of what I do or say. I ended up that night lying awake until 2 am unable to sleep, just so sad and tired.

Wednesday, August 11th – my sister and her family headed back to Seattle before lunchtime. The kids were once again surly and wouldn’t play with us. Cameron spent all morning in the television room watching cartoons, and Shannon was just super clingy with my sister. When they left, Cameron and Shannon wouldn’t even give hugs or kisses to their grandmother or me, and my mom and I both felt so sad and hurt. We moped around the house for a little bit, and then went to the farmer’s market downtown in the afternoon. That was nice and cheered us up a bit – we bought some organic veggies and hazelnuts, and went to a little clothing boutique (but I didn’t buy anything) – and then to the bookstore where I picked up a couple used paperbacks. Then we grabbed a chai tea latte and came back home for a dinner of leftovers. That night, my mom and I watched “New Moon” – she had just seen the first “Twilight” installment the previous week, so I thought she might enjoy it. I think she finds the movies to be a bit cheesy and slow – but after I explained a few details, she really seemed to like it. It was fun anyway to watch it with her since it is after all set up here in the pacific northwest.

Thursday, August 12th – After breakfast, we took my mom’s new cat to the vet for a check up and some vaccinations. My mom just got this six-year old male cat about a week before I came – he was a stray that one of her friends had found outside her home, and he had been in a fight I guess – was all roughed up. My mom’s friend couldn’t keep him because she already has quite a few cats, so she took him to the vet to get all fixed up, and then gave him to my mom. He’s a Russian Blue, and my mom named him Nicky. I’ll have to post pictures later. In the afternoon, we just hung around the house, and then at 5 p.m. we went to have dinner with my mom’s friends Steve and Jonelle and their two kids, Lauren and Elijah. This is a family who used to live just next door to my mom and dad about 10 years ago and who have been good friends of my mom’s for a long time. Steve had cooked a white king salmon, which was delicious – and we also had corn bread, salad and garlic mashed potatoes. Steve also baked an apple pie which was fantastic! They had also invited Jonelle’s good friend JoAnn, who was a super sweet lady. We had a great time talking, and left around 7 p.m. After dinner, we picked up my aunt Marilyn and went to a little place by the water called “Wine on the Waterfront”. This guy named Charlie, who my mom and aunt know from the local theater (who is also a car salesman who sold my mom her car 5 years ago!) was there singing songs from the ‘50s and ‘60s – he does a karaoke style thing without any instruments. He’s not such a great singer, but he does tell interesting stories about the songs he’s singing. We hung out for about an hour and drank a glass of wine and just had a laugh at the small crowd – because even though he’s not entertaining by himself, he has this funny group of followers, all old ladies ranging in age from 60 to maybe close to 90 (granny groupies you might call them) who call themselves Charlie’s Angels. They even have t-shirts that they all wear! And the other funny (though it was actually more annoying) thing was the guy who made it his goal to dance with all the ladies in the room. He was there with his wife, and at first was only dancing with her – but then he started asking the Charlie’s Angels to dance. And then he moved to our table and started with my aunt – who had to turn him down because of her bad hip and legs. He asked me to dance, and at first I turned him down – but he returned and I said yes because I knew if I didn’t, he’d keep asking all night! Then he actually ended up dancing with my mom twice! He was perfectly harmless – he and his wife were visiting from San Jose and he seemed quite nice – but just incredibly persistent! We stayed there only until 9 and went home and watched a bit of a movie and slept.

Friday, August 13th – Friday the 13th!! And nothing bad happened this day at all. Though it was once again a very uneventful day. I went for a walk mid-morning, and it was already getting hot outside. This is a rare occurrence in Port Angeles. After my 45-minute walk, I ate an early lunch and then my mom and I cleaned the garage a bit and put some things in the car to take to good will. Then we pretty much just relaxed all afternoon in front of the tv and watched a British movie called “Happy Go Lucky” – then before fixing dinner, we ran out to the good will to donate some old clothes, and went to the pet store for a few cat items. Then we ate some dinner and watched a bit of television - and around 9 p.m. went over to my aunt and uncle’s house to see my cousin Lynn, her husband John and their two sons Clay and Sam. I haven’t actually seen Clay for about 8 years or so, and only saw Sam briefly last year, so it was nice to see them. They had just gotten back from a 12-mile hike in the mountains, so they were incredibly tired.
My other cousin Dave and his son Ben are also in town this weekend, and we all sat for an hour or so and ate some cake and talked. I’ll be able to see Dave and Ben again tomorrow, so that will be nice. It’s now 11:35 pm and I’m very tired and I should post this novel before another day goes by!



Of course I have taken some pictures since I got here, mostly of my niece and nephew and on our boat tour of the strait and the island - but since I didn't bring my laptop, they won't be posted until I get back to Japan on the 26th. Sadly we've decided against visiting my family in Sacramento, California. I just realized how fast time is flying, and how little time I would really have to spend with family and friends if I went down there. Also, since we have to fly stand-by with my brother-in-law's Alaska Airlines benefits, I am afraid that I might have trouble getting on a flight back to Seattle in the peak summer traveling season - and if I can't get back to Seattle, then I'd miss my flight back to Japan. So instead of going to California, I'm going to spend lots of time here in PA with my mom, and also have additional time with my aunt and uncle here, and my cousin Lynn. My sister is also planning to come back next weekend and stay a couple days, then drive me back to Seattle to catch my flight. I haven't seen much of my brother on this trip - he's been keeping to himself. And additionally I'm having a bit of drama with my husband, who is wondering if he should come back here before the end of the month to get a re-entry permit so that he doesn't lose his green card. He is now considering moving back to the U.S. again.... It's a long story and one for another day!

So good night. I hope everyone is doing good, and I hope to catch up on your lives soon! I'll be back in a few days with more news and updates.