Hello from Washington, U.S.A. : comments [it's not life that matters but the journey...]

Hi! I totally agree with you about the motherhood thing. I love kids, but don't think I could be a mom, especially to deal with the things my sister has to juggle. thankfully she doesn't also have to work outside the home, but motherhood is a job with more overtime than any other!

the memorial was absolutely perfect - such a great memory for my family. and a great way to say goodbye to my father. I'm sure that he was with us that day.

I've had many great days with my mom - it's just what I wanted and needed. this time with her will fill my soul when I"m back in Japan.

and yes, Nicky the cat has been a great addition to her life. He's a good companion and very fun to have around. My mom's doing pretty good these days - as well as can be expected since she's managing lots of things alone. I wish I could be here for her all the time.

as for my husband - he was thinking of coming here this month, but I think I got him to realize that we should work on Japan for awhile longer. we can always come back here in the future. I hope he can find something to do though at least until I can finish my contract next year!

thank you for your wonderful comment, Sue! I miss you and hope you are doing good!

*hugs tight*

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I teach because I can't have my own-unless you count Sadie-lol. But even if I could? I'm not sure I would be a good mother. I am selfish you see. I am still enjoying life and doing whagt I want-when I want. So if I could I'd still pass. It wouldn't be fair to any children I might have. But teaching let me enjoy them-and then send them on home-lol. So you're not alone there! motherhood is a job with more overtime than any other! I totally agree 150%!!!
It was exactly right-just the way it should have been for you and your family. *Nods* You had a special and fitting tribute to your dad's life. And hopefully the closure you needed as well!
It's the small things you miss the most isn't it? And you have more new memories of hanging with your mom/and your family now to hopefully help you when you're back in Japan again.
Having Nicky with her is wonderful! I know he's there at this time for a reason. He sounds like a sweet cat-very loving. I'm glad she has him around! I know it's been hard for her to adjust after losing your dad. I hope she's doing well? I think of you-and your mom alot when my dad has really bad days. It will get easier for you both-and know that I'm here should you need to talk!
I hope that he will give Japan a little more time. It's never easy to come back-and start over again. It takes time. And he would have to do the same thing back here-start over again. And it would take time-so why not Japan for another year? And you're right-you want to finish your contract out there too. *Crosses fingers he finds something* I miss you too! I try to hit my gmail account at least once a week-and answer! But also-I do love reading your posts-and answer when I can. We've been friends too long to not stay in touch! I don't want that to ever happen!
*Hugs you*

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yes there was a time when i thought I might want to be a mother, but now I realize that it would be so difficult for me, especially given my age. I have no idea how my sister does it - she's four years older than I am, and she has two kids under 4! still changing diapers and potty training to do! and of course with all my moving around and being unsettled, not to mention lack of finances - that is another reason to avoid motherhood at this point. oh well! that is one reason I do enjoy teaching here too - it is fun to be around them sometimes. I do like children most of the time.

anyway - yes, my trip to Washington in August was really great - I just wish it hadn't ended with this foot injury! but having that ceremony for my father was so therapeutic for all of us, and a great way to pay him tribute. I know it's been hard for my mom, and she's still having a hard time making big decisions about her house - getting rid of things, etc. I was trying to help her while I was there, but she wasn't ready. so we just relaxed and enjoyed time together. more important I think:)

and finding Nicky, the cat, was a great bit of luck. she needs something to love, and Nicky is very loving and fun to have around. So it's great for her! animals can be such wonderful companions!

as for me, it looks almost 100 percent like I'll be returning to the u.s. next March - hopefully not earlier but I don't know how long this foot recovery will take. if I can complete my contract with my job, I definitely want to for the money. And it will give me time to pack and plan. plus get my husband's visa again - he's lost his current green card! it's so hard for us!!

anyway - thanks for always being here. hopefully when you get a computer we can be in touch more often!

take care!
*big hugs*

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I knew at 20 that i couldn't have aNY KIDS? sO GOING THE TEACHING ROUTE WAS THE BEST WAY TO STILL BE AROUND THEM-SPOIL THEM-LOL! Sorry for the capslocstill getting used to the laptop. *G*
What happened to your foot?! I saw that in a recent reply and freaked out! Are you ok? I hope so! Ouch! Not a fun thing to have happen!
It will be hard for her=for awhile. She's used to having him there to help make the decisions. But from what you say-I think she's doing the best she can for right now. It will get easier for her. *Hugs*
Nicky sounds so sweet! I'm so glad he's there for her-at this time. ;)
Oh wow! You're coming back to the States? Where are you guys going to live-any idea? I hope this all works out for you both! I wish there was something I could do to help. ;( But I cAn offer my love and support! Hang in there ok?
*Hugs*

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Oh I think I told you about my foot - this is a comment I forgot to reply to sorry! they get lost in the shuffle - LOL!
well my mom has been making decisions for her and my dad for a long time since his Parkinson's started to get bad - perhaps about 5 years ago or so. she was doing the taxes and stuff in the last couple years and all the shopping and decisions. so it was hard in some ways with my dad still around. yet after 50 years of marriage, it's always hard to say goodbye!

Nicky is a great cat - did you see the pics I posted of him?

well at this point my plan is to return to the states if things continue to go as they are here. My husband's not working so I need to get back to my own country and start again. Probably i will go back to Washington and see if I can get a job in Seattle. if things don't work there we may return to Chicago - who knows right now. it's hard for us to live here in Japan. I do hope it works out for us this time - I have to get him another green card too so there's lots to think about!

thanks so much for the love and support! that helps a lot!!

*hugs tight*

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Yes! I know from another comment...somewhere? LOL. But I know now. ;)
It is. My dad still misses my mom for the simple companionship. It's been almost 10 years and it's just not the same you know? It's just hard to adjust I think. :(
I've missed seeing those! I'm back on-but running around again! So if they are on your lj? I will go hunting for them! Thanks for the heads up!
It has to be hard. I'm sorry this trip to Japan is not what you both had hoped it would be. And I hope that everything will work out when you both return back to the States. I feel bad that all I can do is just send my best wishes/prayers and love. It's not much but you both definately have them all!
*Hugs*

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oh yes, my mom misses my dad's company even though he wasn't really a great conversationalist, even before the Parkinson's set in. it was just that you get used to someone being around. I feel that way about my husband too, even though we have our problems.

thanks - I do hope things work out for us someday, someway, somewhere. your prayers, wishes and love are always helpful - and always welcome:)

love ya!
*hugs*

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I think it's just hard to deal with knowing what you had with your husband/wife, and knowing you won't have that again. Some people move on and remarry? But I know for my dad that will never happen. ;(
I have hope for you both! I would love the chance to finally meet too! Never say never right? ;)
*Hugs you hard* Love ya right back!!!!

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my mom would never remarry at her age. I don't really know if I would either, if I ever lost my husband. It's too much work - LOL! but of course you can't really plan when you fall in love.

oh I hope you and I can meet!! If I was only in Chicago this month!
someday we'll find a way!

*hugs you tight*

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Since i've never married(yet-lol), I can't say how I'd go if something like this happened to me. Not sure i could move on to another man though...
I know! Doesn't it figure you moved away and I find out I'm going? Pfft. But someday soon-we will meet!
*Hugs you hard*

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yes I think it would be hard for me to just transfer feelings to someone else. a marriage is such a close relationship.

yes let's try to meet someday!!!!!
*hugs*

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Exactly! I am not sure I could do that myself.
It's a deal then! We must find a way to meet!
*Hugs*

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December